Integrity Consistently Compromised? Quit!

I once worked for a witch. No, not that kind. A real one. A male one, with long flowing locks and the charisma of a car salesman. I came into work one day and the place smelled like a combination of rotten eggs and stinkweed had been roasted over an open fire. Turns out, the witches (there was more than one besides my immediate supervisor, and by the way they called themselves “witches” so this is not meant to be a slur or anything) had performed a ceremony the night before that was supposed to increase profits. It smelled so bad that a couple of my co-workers and I went out for coffee instead of starting to work. So much for productivity that day.

One of my witch co-workers would also occasionally wave a rock over our coffee cups and mutter something. I think it was so we would have more luck selling our specialty advertising items, which was the nature of the business. It would freak out my cubicle-mate, who suspected evil spells.

When I took the job I was desperate: a single parent, I had been out of work for months. Despite having a brand new Masters degree, it was one of those all-too-frequent recessions and they were the only ones who would hire me. Even though I needed work, I ended up listening to my intuition and making a decision that others in my situation may not have – I quit.

I woke up one morning with a terrible stomach ache. That stomach ache was a signal to me, one that has plagued me since childhood whenever I am under tremendous emotional stress. The intense pain gave me pause – what was going on? I recognized that I really didn’t want to go to work. I suspected that the company I worked for was not completely on the up-and-up and that for whatever reason, financial troubles or just plain underhandedness (which is what I really suspected), they were not delivering on the customers’ orders. This, coupled with the fact that I was numbing my brain selling junk over the telephone, made it not a desirable place to work. (Surprisingly, it wasn’t the witches – they made coming to work rather interesting.) Without giving two weeks’ notice (the one and only time I did that), I called in and quit.

The owner took it really well and in fact said some nice things about possibly working together in the future. A month later the business closed without paying some of the employees.

As a coach, I have had clients who insisted on remaining in their jobs even though the company or their boss was unethical or a tyrant. I have heard some horror stories about bosses who should be in jail or at least slapped with lawsuits. These are bosses who consistently discriminated against various kinds of people (overweight, old, women, name a religion and race), and were stealing or cheating. The clients who wouldn’t quit even after hiring me for help were under crushing stress. Their physical health, family relationships, and mental and emotional states were all damaged.

What is more important? Making money or your physical and mental health? My clients who wouldn’t quit were scared if they did they wouldn’t be able to pay their mortgage or take care of their families. Valid fears, yes. But I guarantee, living under that much stress every day takes it’s toll and will cost you long-term in poor health.

Simply put: If you are under that much stress consistently, LEAVE. Leave and let it go. Of course, try not to burn any bridges when you leave. You never know what is going to happen in the future. But get out before you do permanent damage to yourself and your family. Your family doesn’t want you to get cancer or be unhappy.

Have the courage, confidence and the self-awareness to find a job that is worthy of you. It is out there. Even when jobs are hard to find like the present, there is something out there for you. It may be temporary, it may be part-time, it’s probably not perfect. But it will be someplace where your skills will be used, and you will be of value. Where can you be of the most value? And valued the most? I hope you are there right now. Make the most of it.

Do You Have the Courage to Be Candid?

In survey after survey, integrity is always one of the top qualities people say they want in leaders. However, one study has determined there are 185 different behavioral expectations around integrity. I’d like to talk about one of them here, candor – “the state or quality of being frank, open, and sincere in speech or expression. “ (www.dictionary.com)

Communicating with candor can be tricky, no matter who you are talking with. It takes some courage to speak frankly to a boss. Some people have trouble doing it with anyone if it involves bringing up something distasteful.

In a speech at the US Naval Academy last April, Defense Secretary Robert Gates told a hall full of midshipmen that vision, perseverance, candor and moral courage are essential qualities for 21st-century leaders. “In addition to speaking hard truths to your superiors,” he said, “as a leader you must create a climate that encourages candor among your subordinates, especially in difficult situations.”

Straight talk, integrity and courage should always be encouraged and rewarded. Wisely, Secretary Gates noted: “In a perfect world that should always happen. Sadly, it does not, and I will not pretend there is not risk. At some point, each of you will surely work for a jackass. We all have. But that does not make taking that stand any less necessary for the sake of our country.”

Or for the sake of your own organization and peace of mind.

I want to make some distinctions about candor. Candor is not forgetting who your audience is. Speaking to the troops, Gates’ use of the word “jackass” was candidly appropriate. But some audiences might be offended or regard the use of coarse language as evidence of coarse behavior – not necessarily behavior connoting integrity.

Candor is not bluntness. It can be blunt, but again, know your audience. Being frank, particularly about negative issues, may require some diplomatic lead-in so that you don’t come across as cold or overly direct.

Candor is not always about something negative. Yes, according to marketing’s ‘Law of Candor’ admitting a negative creates a positive impression in the prospect’s mind. For example, Avis stating they are number two impresses the audience with the company’s honesty. A leader sincerely admitting they were wrong impresses the listeners. See the second video below for an example of a commercial that uses the Law of Candor to the max.

In the first video below we see a former CEO of Philip Morris. What he says may be the truth as he sees it, but does he seem candid to you? He may feel that he is being honest. Nothing he says is necessarily a lie, yet the way he presents the information, without any concern or acknowledgement of the whole truth, leads me to believe that he lacks integrity, even though I can find no lies in his presentation. He doesn’t impress me as being “frank, open or sincere.”

The second video shows a business owner being very candid about his products. He is not dressed in a nice suit, and doesn’t convey a sense of wealth and education. Which video instills more trust? Which leader would you allow to influence you more? Which leader shows more integrity?